How to Handle Criticism Without Freefall

The Moment Everything Flipped

The phone light blinked.
“Piera, can I have a word?”

(The walk to his office threw me right back to school, en route to the Headmistress’ office… aka “The Death March” )

My Service Desk Manager stood in the doorway - jaw set, arms folded.

Inside his office he fired the words that made my stomach drop: “The client says you were rude on the call.

Heat rose, butterflies battered my ribs. I argued my case on the spot, voice shaky. He listened but doubt had taken root.

I left the room shaking, convinced thirty years of customer service had just been written off.

Why The Panic Is Physical, Not Personal

RSD is common in adults with ADHD and feels like instant catastrophe.

The brain floods the body with cortisol - the main stress hormone, which scrambles clear thinking.

Cortisol++ peaks quickly but begins to fall after roughly twenty minutes, which is why logic can feel impossible at first.

Clinicians describe RSD* as intense yet short-lived emotional pain triggered by real or perceived rejection, especially in ADHD brains.

So What Works In That Fraught First Hour?

The FOUR tactics below pulled me back from the edge and they can do the same for you.

1. Twenty-minute buffer

• Start a 20-minute phone timer.

• Move – walk, stretch, make a hot drink/get a glass of water.

• Repeat a grounding line: “Breathe, Note The Facts, Move Forward.”

By the time the timer buzzes, the cortisol surge has eased and your thinking brain is back online.

This buffer was my life-line: I left the building, paced round the block and felt the fog lift just enough to plan a next step.

2. Fact – Emotion – Action

Back at my desk I opened a blank note and wrote three short lines.

• Fact: Ticket logged at 10:42, printer jam recorded, solution offered, client unable to make work. Escalated to 2nd Line. Customer advised of expected follow-up time.

• Emotion: I feel attacked and ashamed.

• Action: Show ticket to manager; ask what outcome he needs.

Five minutes, no longer. The structure stopped me replaying the phone call on a loop.

3. Quick Chat, Not A Lonely Spiral

Ten minutes later I grabbed a trusted colleague for coffee.
“I need to sanity-check this.” She listened, confirmed the facts matched my note and sent me back in with steadier feet.

Working solo?

• Ring a business friend.

• Jump on a short video call.

• State the aim out loud: “I want to frame a calm response.”

• Shared attention cuts paralysis.

4. Victory Log: Ammunition For Next Time

That evening I opened a document called Victory Log and listed recent wins – thank-you emails, solved tickets, kind words.

Reading two of those lines tomorrow would take ninety seconds and remind me I was more than one complaint.

Keep yours on desktop or phone.

Add wins as they come.

Resolution (And A Late Apology)

I returned to my manager with the ticket data and a calmer voice.
He read, frowned and accepted it.

Three days later the same client rang him – full apology, wrong end of the stick. She never told me directly but that was enough.

I cannot control someone’s opinion, only my response.
My response now depends on a buffer, a note, a quick chat and a collection of small wins.

Do You Want Your Own Feedback-Proof Workflow?

Book a Power Hour and build habits that keep criticism from derailing your day, so you can focus on work that matters.

++health.harvard.edu
*additudemag.com